Hard work

Was the first weekend I worked in a loooong while. (Side note - I've actually had quite a slack and good life for a while now, no complaints :P).

Ideally, I wouldn't have gone to work on Friday. But with AL manning the fort on 2 engagements, I just couldn't leave a friend in the lurch. So in the end, worked through the whole weekend, going back on both Sat and Sun.

Measure of times... after a one-off weekend like that, we decided we needed to reward ourselves, walking out at 5pm and going for a drink. This is a team I like, we work hard, we play hard. Now if only my boss will come back soon and stop others from eating our business. :P

Silence

Silence...so revered, so misunderstood... so many perceptions of it, often misunderstood - it can mean hostility, anger, dissent, oppression, awkwardness, earily, protest.

Yet, silence has often been praised / raised up - silence is golden. Restraint has often been praised, raised as a virtue or true friend. People claim to remember silence more than words, solitary often suggested as good for the soul.

Hey, we even have silent retreats...

Above all... it can be deafening. My ear drums are bursting...

Words to remember

WL recently shared with me, JK Rowling's Commencement Address at Harvard in June, a truly inspiring (tho distinctly God-neutral) speech. I may not remember a word from my own graduation, but I'll probably remember many of hers here.

I encourage you to watch/read it here:

http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html

One part I take away from this speech - "I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty."

I have in the past had the tendency to blame my parents for things in my life which I don't like. This is a strong (and stern) reminder never to do that again and to just do something about it rather than whinging about it.

Adventure!

Am finally back from Lombok and what a trip it was. From the onset, drama and adventure!

First off, we waited for the whole group to arrive before checking in, but the airline closed the check-in facilities while we were checking in. So we missed our flight, no other flights till Monday! After an hour of arguing with the airline, they agreed to put us on the waiting list for Bali, but there were 5 people ahead of the 6 of us in the waiting list. In the end, there were 7 seats open with 2 people left to check in, so we were left waiting anxiously for the final few minutes. But they didn't show, so miraculously (and the duty manager indeed said it would take a miracle), we all made it on that flight!

Next day, we made our way to Lombok and opted to travel by "fast boat", which turned out to be a slow public ferry which effectively took 7 hours. When we finally arrived at Lombok, it was low tide so we couldn't disembark. We had climbed off the side of the ferry and got these small boats which came up to the ferry to bring us to shore, finally reaching Lombok 24 hours later than expected.

So our climb of Mt. Rinjani was cut short from 4D3N to 3D2N. Turned out to be one of the toughest physical and mental experiences I've ever gone through (voluntarily at least, army doesn't count and I was waaaay fitter then). I could barely feel my legs each day, especially my calves and quads. On the last day we climbed all the way down for more than 8 hours, by the end my knees were seriously in pain.

During the trip, I was wondering what in the world I was thinking, paying money to put myself through this. Once it was over though, I'm proud of what I achieved. And like our guide happily pointed out to us, as a group we did it laughing and smiling, even though we were completely exhausted. :)

I also realised that I now appreciate natural sights infinitely more than man-made sights, because it allows me to appreciate the beauty of God's creation. The amazing mountain sights, beautiful lake, sunrise/sunset above the clouds, the most number of stars I have ever seen on a single clear night (it had to be thousands!)... God of Wonders, Your creation is so beautiful, I could only stare and marvel.

I'll let the pictures tell the story, once I get the full set from JD, our team photographer.

Ready to go

All packed and ready to go. Considering it's a 6D5N trip, I packed shockingly light (8kg). One of the more exciting trips I've done in recent years, going climbing Mt. Rinjani in Lombok. Apparently it's one of the tallest active volcanoes in Southeast Asia.

Timing's really off, got 2 engagements going on this week and feel really bad for not being around.

In any case, gotta go back to my favourite axiom - things I can control, things I can't control. Will make the best of it!

Whatever

I'm fed up with this, fed up with myself.

I'm not going to let this go on, need to get a grip.

If that's the way it has to be, then so be it.

AADD

Adult Attention-deficit disorder - a condition, marked by inattentiveness, difficulty getting work done, procrastination, and/or organization problems.

The Hallowell Center identifies the following indicators to consider when AADD is suspected and recommends that individuals with at least twelve of the following behaviours since childhood consider professional diagnosis:

1. A sense of under-achievement, of not meeting one’s goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished). Check (Count - 1)

2. Difficulty getting organised Check (Count - 2)

3. Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started Double Check (Count - 3)

4. Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow through. (that's my bosses fault, wun blame myself. haha)

5. A tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark. Confirm Check (Count - 4)

6. A frequent search for high stimulation.

7. An intolerance of boredom. Check (Count - 5)

8. Easy distractibility; trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away Check (Count - 6)

9. Often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent

10. Trouble in going through established channels and following proper procedure. Confirm Check, haha... (Count - 7)

11. Impatient; low tolerance of frustration Check (Count - 8)

12. Impulsive, either verbally or in action Check (Count - 9)

13. Changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans and the like; hot-tempered. Must be the most tell-tale sign! Check Check Check (Count - 10)

14. A tendency to worry needlessly

15. A sense of insecurity Check (Count - 11)

16. Mood swings Check (Count - 12)

17. Physical or cognitive restlessness

18. A tendency toward addictive behaviour Check (Count - 13)

19. Chronic problems with self-esteem

20. Inaccurate self-observation (paradox - if i say yes, does that then mean no?)

Total - 13!

"AADD is recognized as a disability under U.S. federal legislation" - does that mean I can downgrade???

*Disclaimer -
I don't serious think I have a clinical problem. I'd much rather have a rebel-without-a-cause personality than a clinical problem. Neither am I poking fun at those who are diagnosed with this. But I do have many of these characteristics.

Living Sacrifice

We had cell retreat today and I really thank God for blessing the day. Am really encouraged and refreshed.

Every time I take stock of my life and give thanks to God, I always have to start with family and cell - the selfless love from you that God has blessed me with, I can only pray that I can give as much as I have received.

So many times, in the tough moments, I have blessed by music. I bought this CD so long ago, but only today this song really struck me, words that could have come straight from my heart -

What It Means
Jeremy Camp

I've been here a thousand times before
Face down on the floor
Wondering how I even reached this place again
But You have shown so endlessly,
how Your love pours over me
No picture can re-create the beauty that I see

Chorus:
Show me what it means, to live my life a sacrifice
If only I would realise how much it took to pay the price
I know I'd always give, everything to You

I want this world to always see
Your perfect majesty
Reflecting from my life this brilliant poetry
Written all over this place
The signs of all creation that You breathed
Words can't even state how much You mean to me

Bridge:
I want to face my very crime
Of not giving all of mine
But I can feel the hope You bring to me

Oz!

Holiday in Sydney and Melbourne, traveled with my cousin Andrew. Lotsa walking and eating, lotsa fun. :)

Australia July 2008

dunno why I never fancied Australia much last time. Brilliant lifestyle, places, etc.. tempting place to go to. but it's just not home lah. :P

Knock on the head

Dream - something that is longed for
Fantasy - An unrealistic or improbable supposition

What did it mean? Does it make it a dream or a fantasy?

Tennis match of a lifetime

What a Wimbledon final! who cares if I had to stay up till 6am watching Nadal beat Federer in the greatest tennis match I have watched! Go Rafa, you've single-handedly made me excited to watch tennis like never before

Epiphany

How could I have been so bone-headed? What in the world have I been doing for the past 4 years? The mind is indeed so powerful, it can deceive itself. Oh, but if it was supposed to be buried, why didn't it stay buried...