Prayer for the year

Dear Lord,

In previous years, I would have to spend some time reflecting on the past year, what has been good, what has been bad. But this year...in so many ways, 2007 has been such a horrible year for me, easily the worst of my 28 years. What is even more frustrating is that You know i confessed that I had gone astray for the first 4 months of the year, but had committed everything to You after that, my career, my personal life.

Father, I know that You will never put us through more than we can handle, but You're seriously pushing it close to the limit!

But You know what? I thank You Father, for the life changing experience over the past 2 years, the difference of having You permeate my whole life, rather than just a part of it. And inspite of everything that has happened, I can know and say this with conviction -

Jesus, my Saviour, I know You will always love me, guide me, care for me. And You know that though my thots and actions may not always show it, You will always be in my heart, every fibre of my being. Your love for me gives me ultimate hope in life, of the future, of everything, and to that I can only say - I love You.

So this is my prayer for 2008, Lord. I pray that no matter what happens in my life, somehow Your love will still shine through me. I pray too for your blessing, Abba Father, let this be a better year. Let this be a happier year.

Amen.

East to West

East to West
Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord, and I'm drowning
in your sea of forgetfulness
the chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I dont want to end up where you found me
and it echoes in my mind,
keeps me awake tonight

I know you cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
and I stand before you now,as if I've never sinned
but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
from you leaving me this way

and Jesus can you show me
just how far the east is from the west
cause I can't bear to see the man I've been rising up in me again
in the arms of your mercy I find rest,
cause you know just how far the East is from the West
from one scarred hand to the other.

I start the day the war begins
endless reminding of my sin
time and time again your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
today I feel like I'm just one mistake away,
from you leaving me this way

and Jesus can you show me,
just how far the East is from the West
cause I can't bear to see the man I've been rising up in me again
in the arms of your mercy I find rest
cause you know just how far the East is from the West
from one scarred hand to the other.

I know you've washed me white,
turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through,
to get me through this night
can't live by what I feel
but by the Truth your Word reveals,
I'm not holding on to you
but you're holding on to me,
you're holding on to me

Jesus you know just how far the East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been, rising up in me again
in the arms of your mercy I find rest'
cause you know just how far the East is from the West,
from one scarred hand to the other.

Accidental puns

Just got back from Ghent, Belgium. (Others were right, there is really nothing much in Ghent)

Anyway, little lunch time exchange while we were there, when my brother David and my Dad were eating steak:

Me: How was your steak done?

David: They did it medium, like I asked.

Me: Wow, that's very rare.

*dop!*

Later...

Mum (to Dad): How was your steak done? Medium rare?

Dad: No, medium well, like I asked.

Me: Well done.

*dop!* *dop!*

*cough*

Just got back from 3 day road trip to North of England. Unfortunately though, the bug which I've been slowly coming down with became full blown over these 3 days. Was fun travelling with family, tho naturally not the same with cough, fever, headache, running nose, all hitting me one by one.

Will post pictures to describe the trip when I get better. Hope that happens soon, cos taking Eurostar to Belgium in 2 days.

I've been blogged!

Dennis mentioned a couple of weeks back that some teachers found that their students had blogged about them. I decided that I would try and see if my students have been blogging about me.

Sure enough, some did! I dunno why I am so shocked, but I am. Here are some of the comments:

"so funny.. and Mr. Mark E was so random to talk about Ben and Jerry's operations and internal control.. dotz"

"And funny Mr Mark E. He came in just to talk about Contract for Different (CFD), then he left. dot.z"

"Learning the Bloomberg system, today mark e come teach us. I totally dunno how to use... crazy system, why people wan to invest such weird systems whereby not really everybody will rmb"

Ah well... could have been a whoooole lot worse. Hahaha...

(oh ya, call me paranoid, but I refrained from spelling my surname here so the blog cannot be located via google search of my name. dunno lah, just feel like keeping it that way. :P)

Brrr...

I'm in London! 5 years removed from winter weather, am not used to the cold. No choice, started wearing a scarf. It's so good for keeping warm! Can't believe I didn't try this when I studied in Manchester.

Anyway, seeing as how I just touched down this afternoon and it's 8pm now, nothing much's happened besides catching up with my brothers and having dinner. So happy to see them though, we were laughing and laughing for a while there. :)

Oh yes, and my brother, being the smartest guy I know, gave me the answer to my New Year on the plane in 2 secs - If you take off at 10pm, within an hour you would have crossed into the next time zone (i.e. over Germany, France, etc), which would make it midnight. So, the likely answer would be the countdown happens within an hour of taking off. Way to go, Zhi!

More updates to follow...pictures too hopefully. =)

New Year puzzle

If a guy takes from off London on 31st December 10pm and arrives in Singapore at 7pm on 1st January, at which point does he countdown to the New Year's?

Does he get to count down across multiple timezones every hour? Or maybe the pilot will track and let the passengers know when we're in a timezone that is approaching midnight.

Someone email me and tell me!! hahaha...

Bye dear

I'll miss you. I know you do too.

Another step

Finally got the call for a 4th interview today, this time with the Head of Execution. This is the first time I've ever interviewed that many times for a job and it looks like I'm only halfway...

I'm cautiously optimistic...though somewhat disappointed since it doesn't look like this process will be finalised by the time I fly Saturday morning, like I had hoped.

Am trying to put into words and sense why I am doing this...another post to follow when I have that.

And while I'm on the plane, perhaps my thoughts on this year, 2007, which has easily been the toughest year of my 28 years.

Reminiscing...

I must be in a one of those nostalgic or reflective moods again. Thinking back, 4 years of my 4.5 year career was in a company which, though I have lots of unflattering opinions about, also gave me so many memories. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Let me share with you some of those moments...

Reflections of 4 years in EY

Finally, an update

Yes, today is the first real update in 2 months. I started posting entries for events since 15 Oct, but realised if I didn't adjust the dates, it'd be quite confusing. So yes, posts dated 15 Oct to today were all actually posted today.

My blog is becoming like my room or my personal admin. Seasonally updated/tidy.

Anyway, quick update:
- almost had another phone interview yesterday and today but the guy was on leave.
- had an optional revision session for my students and almost 60 of 171 showed up! (the room i booked baaaarely fit them)
- bummer...called up for NS for four weeks?! over CNY?!

Ah heck...looking forward to holiday in 3 days!

Oh yah...

O/S List
1. Specialist Diploma study guides
2. Module 3rd common test questions
3. Module Exam questions
4. Marking of student group projects

Sigh... must get it done soon.

A call-back!

A week after my last interview, the recruiter called me back! I tell you, I was so expecting her to tell me ah well, better luck next time. Instead, she said she had arranged a 2nd interview for yesterday evening, via conference call cos the Director was in HK.

That went well, and today they followed up with another interview, this time with the MD for Asia Pacific, though only for 10 mins.

3 down, 8-10 rounds overall... trying so hard not to get my hopes up. It's hard.

Bombed

Words cannot describe how down I feel about how the interview went today.

I guess it's because the guy had a seriously good poker face. No indication from him whether he was happy with my answers, only a mild frown occasionally.

I got an impt technical question wrong, but I'm convinced I sounded like I was smoking him at some stages. Worst of all though, I feel like my nervousness showed, which irritates me cos I'm normally very calm and confident at interviews.

At the end, he just looked at me with a stone face and said ok, we're done. That's it. No we'll be in touch, no how we'll proceed from here, just ok we're done.

But why am I so down? Why do I feel like my confidence in myself has taken a hit? Is it because I want it so badly and it looks like I can't have it? (I hope not). Or is it because of my pride, that I want to do well in everything that I do? Either way, I don't feel so great...

Am I so lousy that the lack of affirmation from a stranger can have such an effect on me? I can't believe it. Get a grip of yourself!

Ah well... perhaps it's not meant to be. Worse, perhaps I'm not good enough for this industry?

Finally...a call!

Just last Sunday, I was seriously fretting about the lack of response from all my application sending. But yesterday, I finally got a call from a recruiter regarding an investment banking position in Singapore!

Met the recruiter today and she's setting me up for an interview this Thursday. Will be the biggest interview I have ever had... I am excited, relieved and nervous, all at the same time.

Got 2 days to prepare...I have my bloomberg downloads, database downloads, newspaper extractions... all systems go now!

Please God, calm my excited heart, give me Your peace, show me what it is You want for me...

(oh ya, I postponed my GMAT till mid-Jan)