Further but closer

It's been 2 weeks since my brother flew to Geneva. In the time since, it feels like my family is closer than ever.

I started this family email group for the 5 of us some time back. Perhaps the distance has helped in a strange way, but it seems like all 5 of us have been emailing back and forth every day. Case in point - we had like 51 emails over 7 days, just talking about our December holiday plans.

I'm glad.. and I thank God for my family. We may not always agree with each other, we may not always communicate much, but I know there's a closeness that makes my family my haven. I have never missed Christmas with my family before, so glad this year we'll get to spend it together again, this time overseas. :)

Still

We sang this today for worship during cell meeting... have you ever felt it, when the words of a song feel like the Holy Spirit is giving you the words to say, straight from your heart. I dare say I truly felt God's presence with us during cell tonight.

Still
Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Where are you, my voice?

After the first week, my voice feels sore as ever. With 12 hours in class and another 16 in FSRC, I am mildly concerned if I can keep this up week after week. By the 2nd week, I find myself on MC, down with the flu (or is it sore throat) of sorts.

I count 171 students in my module and another 19 in FSRC. Kinda hard to remember all the names, but I'm working at it.

One thing's for sure though... I definitely enjoy FSRC more than traditional classroom teaching. In FSRC, I get to teach them whatever I want, set them whatever project I want them to do. It is here that my experience has the most relevance, e.g. showing them how to use the Bloomberg machine. I also got them to play a stock trading game/role play, where we simulated a trading pit and some of the students were the brokers, some the stock exchange and the rest the investors. That was quite some fun.

Classroom teaching on the other hand... it's tough. I have one hour to deliver a fixed set of material and classroom control consumes so much energy. I so very much want to find new ways of teaching the material, but with so little time and so much material, I can't afford to try new things or wait for them to participate. So in the end, I feel like I'm dragging them through the questions and answers, then end the class. Problem too is that to make it interesting with stories, I don't have that wealth of experience so I need to do lotsa research. But I'm so tired!

My boss tells me he wants to introduce financial modelling to FSRC one day. Gets me all excited! Kinda miss financial modelling...

Major bummer came in the form of an arrow, firstly that I have to co-ordinate the Certificate in Fund Administration course in late November, then that I have to teach one of the sessions that week. The class is in fund administration... how stress is that? I not only have to teach an area I have not worked in before, but I have to teach it to a class of adults who mostly have years of experience in that line! Hai...

Overall, feeling very physically tired. I'm told I look more tired at 6pm than I used to be at midnight. No energy to clear O/S list...

O/S List
1. Specialist Diploma study guides
2. Module 3rd common test questions
3. Module Exam questions

Day One

Day One of teaching... what a day

830am - Unlocking doors for the Financial Services Resource centre this week, where I supervise projects for students in a simulated working banking environment. Conduct intro session for the new batch in FSRC by myself and set them something to do, before rushing off to class.

11am - First ever class! Quite an enthusiastic class, lab session, goes quite well. I've been told that the accounting diploma students are quite quiet and studious (cue the accountant jokes), so I guess it held true for this class

2pm - First ever tutorial! This time, extremely noisy class, can feel the effect on my voice, trying to control the class. I've been told that marketing diploma classes tend to be pretty boisterous and while I'm loathe to generalise, it certainly holds true here.

3pm - Back to FSRC. Monday's not supposed to be my turn here (Tue & Fri afternoons only), but I'm standing in for my colleague who's on leave this week. Teaching them ethics, which goes very well considering how boring it can be. Got them to role play all the different roles in the Enron scandal, so think they had fun.

530pm - Finally lock up FSRC. Man...what a start. Seems like everything came together at the same time. So tired, no energy to do O/S list.

O/S List
1. Specialist Diploma study guides
2. Module 3rd common test questions
3. Module Exam questions

Show time

I've been waiting 6 weeks since I started work, tomorrow I conduct my first lecture, first tutorial and first lab session.

It's been a balance of excitement and dread over the 6 weeks, but now that it's here and there are so many last minute things happening, so many thoughts flying thru my mind -

"Can I relate to the students?"
"Can I control the classes and not let discipline go completely out of the window?"
"Will the fact that I look so much younger than the other lecturers impede my ability to teach?"
"Do I have the energy to keep trying to make my classes interesting for them?"
"Do I have what it takes?"

heh, what can I say. Stress lah. It's like a presentation at work, except that it would be my toughest clients yet. haha...

Just got to get past tomorrow, after that everything will be much better. Right now, heart's beating so fast and stomach's stuffed with butterflies.

Father, grant me Your peace that comes with letting You take control. Give me the courage to do what I know is Your plan for me.

Cook-Out!

Aside from cooking in uni (for survival) and army (barely counts) days, I have hardly ever touched anything in the kitchen back home.

Today for the first time, I actually tried cooking in my home. The place I've been staying for the better part of my 28 years. Yes, first time.

Hari Raya Cook-out

Was also our first time cooking together. :) Won't tell you who cooked what. you guess :P

Swiiiiish

That's what you're likely to hear when I'm playing. Hee... just bought a badminton racket. First racket of any kind I own in dunno how many many years man!

Going to try it out this evening... swish swish swish :)

p.s. if you didn't get that, i mean i keep missing!

8 p.m. - *pant* *pant* *pant* am clearly in need of some fitness

I finished a book!

I just finished reading "The Short History of Christianity", probably the first non-fiction book I've actually started and finished in a while (usually it's just John Grisham or Star Wars).

Stephen Tomkins wrote it from a religion-neutral standpoint and injection his own brand of humour. I guess much of the history I knew from reading European history, membership class in PLMC or visiting churches around Europe. Even so, I gotta say, the history of the church is gory, distasteful and sometimes downright sickening. Also reminded me of my tremendous discomfort when I visited the Vatican and saw statue after statue of popes and saints.

So how does one react to it? I see it as this - people are imperfect, the church is fallible. But God is not. His Word is not. So no matter how discouraged one can sometimes get looking at some churches or church leaders (disclaimer - I'm not pinpointing anybody or any church!), we can find our bearings and comfort from the Bible.

It reminds me of what I was told as I was starting out as a Sunday School teacher almost 10 years ago. Our lessons must always draw the points back to the Bible, because that's the foundation of what we believe in. If not it's just a guy telling stories to a group of teenagers.

Quite excited that I started reading again. :)

Bye

Had dinner with my family for likely the last time before my brother flies off on Sunday.

It's one of those things you knew was coming and didn't really hit you till now:

He's going for good.

I guess I always thought it'd be like going overseas study and one day he'll be back. But I realised last night this time it's different:

He's going for good.

We're very different personalities and have often clashed over the years. End of the day though, he's my brother. There has always been a magical happiness at home when all 5 of us are together.

Bye Xian, home's not the same without you around.

Offering

Father,

You are my peace. Your love brings me warmth, Your assurance brings me comfort.

Thank You Lord...

Offering
Paul Baloche

The sun cannot compare to the glory of Your love
There is no shadow in Your Presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before Your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven
It's only by Your Blood and it's only through you mercy
Lord I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King
No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing
Jesus may You receive the honour that You're due
O Lord I bring an offering to You
I bring an offering to You

Oct 7 -

Amazingly, they sang this song for today's worship!

I can't find it

During the PLMC Cell Church Conference last year, we sang a song which has stuck in my head since.

However, I can't seem to find the song anywhere, not even on the internet.

This is what I remember of it:

"Glory to the King forever You have made me glad
I will sing I will shout Your praises forever
...
Holy One, I praise You now,
for You O Lord are the mighty one who reigns
Shout for joy..."

Anyone know what is the title of this song and who sang it?

3 Oct -

I found it! Thanks May San!

Glorify
Paul Zaia

Glory to the King forever You have made me glad
I will sing, I will shout, I will clap my hands
In Your presence now and forever

You O God are the mighty King Ruler of the Earth
Let Your presence come Let Your will be done
As Your praises fill this place

Chorus:
Holy One, I praise You now
For You O God, are the Mighty One who reigns
Shout for joy, I lift Your Name on high
Let the people come and glorify Your Name
Glorify Your Name

Bridge:
Let Your glory fill the earth
Let the kings fall at Your feet
And proclaim that You are Lord
Every tribe and every tongue
Will declare the things that You’ve done
And proclaim that You are Lord