Week 3 of teaching
Day 1:
Week starts normally to be honest. Pushing ahead with the classes, getting to know my students better. My roommate tells me the sore voice is likely permanent, they all have it too. But some of the students do participate quite a bit and it is pretty encouraging.
Day 2:
Something's missing though... I miss financial modelling. Why? My mind's not being pushed, not being challenged. Where's the rush I used to feel? It's weird... I'm not sure how to put it. In some way, I'm not feeling the sense of achievement, the sense of satisfaction. The adrenalin rush. How long can I hold out?
Day 3:
Had a meeting with the Director of the School today. It's one of those meetings where the Director says he wants to meet all newcomers and have a dialogue session. Turns out it's a "Director talks for 40 mins nonstop then stops to ask politely if we have any questions before rushing off to meeting" kind of session. Ah well. Funny thing though, during that session I'm daydreaming about how crazy would it be if I were to go back to industry now. If I serve 3 months notice, what would my exit strategy be?
Day 4:
Moment of truth. I don't remember how it happened, but I know it was like a little seed in my mind that grew and grew and grew. By the end of the day I realise that I did want to go back to the industry. I missed financial modelling, I missed the analysis and report writing, I missed the presentations to clients...
but how could I let this happen? How could I have done so much research into becoming a lecturer, thought about it for 5 years, talked to so many people, yet let it come to this?
My parents know me well. They can see the difference. They told me they can see the difference at the end of each day, there's a fire in my eyes that has disappeared. Even at the wee hours last time, there was that fire. It's gone... why?
I know many will look at this and say I don't know what I want. Some will say they're not surprised. Others may be disappointed. You know what though? No one is sadder or more disappointed than I am. I realise now there are 2 people in this. Who I wish I was, who I am. I wish I was that guy, who could just be there and help my students. But the reality is that doing that leaves a gaping hole inside me, a yearning to do something, to challenge myself in that way.
I counted. 3 months to the end of the semester is next week. Let's see what happens...
Day 5:
CV's done, emailed out...
Day 1:
Week starts normally to be honest. Pushing ahead with the classes, getting to know my students better. My roommate tells me the sore voice is likely permanent, they all have it too. But some of the students do participate quite a bit and it is pretty encouraging.
Day 2:
Something's missing though... I miss financial modelling. Why? My mind's not being pushed, not being challenged. Where's the rush I used to feel? It's weird... I'm not sure how to put it. In some way, I'm not feeling the sense of achievement, the sense of satisfaction. The adrenalin rush. How long can I hold out?
Day 3:
Had a meeting with the Director of the School today. It's one of those meetings where the Director says he wants to meet all newcomers and have a dialogue session. Turns out it's a "Director talks for 40 mins nonstop then stops to ask politely if we have any questions before rushing off to meeting" kind of session. Ah well. Funny thing though, during that session I'm daydreaming about how crazy would it be if I were to go back to industry now. If I serve 3 months notice, what would my exit strategy be?
Day 4:
Moment of truth. I don't remember how it happened, but I know it was like a little seed in my mind that grew and grew and grew. By the end of the day I realise that I did want to go back to the industry. I missed financial modelling, I missed the analysis and report writing, I missed the presentations to clients...
but how could I let this happen? How could I have done so much research into becoming a lecturer, thought about it for 5 years, talked to so many people, yet let it come to this?
My parents know me well. They can see the difference. They told me they can see the difference at the end of each day, there's a fire in my eyes that has disappeared. Even at the wee hours last time, there was that fire. It's gone... why?
I know many will look at this and say I don't know what I want. Some will say they're not surprised. Others may be disappointed. You know what though? No one is sadder or more disappointed than I am. I realise now there are 2 people in this. Who I wish I was, who I am. I wish I was that guy, who could just be there and help my students. But the reality is that doing that leaves a gaping hole inside me, a yearning to do something, to challenge myself in that way.
I counted. 3 months to the end of the semester is next week. Let's see what happens...
Day 5:
CV's done, emailed out...
O/S List
1. Specialist Diploma study guides
2. Module 3rd common test questions
3. Module Exam questions
1. Specialist Diploma study guides
2. Module 3rd common test questions
0 comments:
Post a Comment