Chastened

I've been pondering on the words of 2 of my friends lately, particularly because I believe God was using them to send me a message.

First was a challenge - to ask myself what my focus is now. When we value anything more than God, this unsurrendered area becomes a bait that Satan uses against us. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you."

Second was a testimony - that being single allows one to explore who they are, to know and be confident of who they are, something that is more difficult once in a relationship.

The latter hit me, because I've often felt a disconnect between who I am and who I wished I was. I've often felt my direction in life careening like a pinball with 2 levers pushing me in differing directions.

The former.. to be honest I felt like I had been chastened and my reaction wasn't the best.

But today, this passage found me:

Hebrews 12:
5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:
“ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?

Consider me chastened. I thank You, Father, for placing these brothers and sisters in Christ around me, that You may use them as messengers when I need You. I will endure, I will listen.

I've often felt that I can barely understand myself, how can I expect anyone else to then? So let me figure that out then, let me find out who I am. And let my life reflect that.

My prayer then, is that it will reflect that I love my Saviour, Jesus Christ, whose sacrifice means I am able to lead a victorious life, living life to its fullest.