Somewhere in the Middle

Had a quick interview with DB (6th one for those still counting) last Thursday, guy basically treated like a social call, rather than an interview, since he had interviewed me by phone a month back. But he was confusing, on one hand saying they wanted to "take things to the next level" and "offer me a position as analyst", but also qualifying with "these things are never finalised until they are finalised". Then today recruiter called to discuss start date, saying she doesn't want to jump the gun, but it does look like it's in the bag. All I can say is I'll believe when I see it...

I have been trying to put together and share my thoughts, why I have seemingly gone one extreme in life to the other, why I seem to have taken one path, only to completely backtrack and take another. So many thoughts, many of which go to the very core of who I am.

I was driving home last week thinking about this, when I heard this song which I had heard many times. But this time I happened to listen to lyrics more carefully and I realised it summarises what I feel completely. I really am somewhere in the middle. Does that make me lukewarm? I don't think so, I believe it means I recognise my humanity and I am always trying, always seeking my Saviour.

So, at the risk of turning my blog into a Casting Crowns site, I want to share this song with you:

Somewhere In The Middle
Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control