My director in HK called me this morning, chewed my head off, so pissed and disappointed he was. I can understand that.

In this short time, I have developed tremendous respect for their intellect and abilities. They have never been anything short of brutally honest of the challenge I would face. It is I who let my desire to have this job cloud my judgment.

Office suddenly became an extremely cold place, as if it couldn't get any colder. I feel it's the investment banking culture/lifestyle. It's just business. It was such a strange day, no one talking to me, no one emailing me at all. My senior analyst spoke to me for 5 mins, VP spoke at the end of the day bluntly saying they wanted me to serve out the 2 weeks notice.

Whatever..

My career's in a mess. My body and my psyche are also messed up. Even 3 weeks I already feel out of sync and off balance.

But you know what? No regrets. Not through poly, not through investment banking. Here's why:

1) I no longer harbour any notions of wanting something "better" in my job. I truly truly know the kind of life I want and can be contented with it.

2) The experience has made me truly realise how much pris means to me and the way she supported me has really helped carry me through this (together with the prayers of all my close ones of course). A corner has been turned, a milestone reached and for that alone, this experience has been worth it.

Had dinner with her, mal, vio, eugene last night. For the first time this month, I felt peace and contentment again. Just a simple dinner at a normal hour. I'll never take that for granted again.

Meanwhile... baby Isaac was born yesterday morning! Congrats, Eugene and Dawn. He's sooo big! Pictures to come, I'm sure...